Just about every day I ask myself this question, "What is wrong with me?" I don't think like everyone else. I can't seem to go a day without feeling like I'm doing life wrong. I can't seem to manage my budget and save money like others do to get really nice stuff. I can't get the motivation to lose weight and look as good as "that person."
When we are in this place and comparing ourselves to others, it's easy to look only at their success while ignoring yours. Check out the resources below and think about
What. Is. Right. With. You.
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
We really can't control who loves us and who doesn't. Just like the feeling of being unloved, it's really hard to do anything about these emotions that take over our lives.
So what can you do?
It's really hard to change the way you feel. But you can change what you do. And what you do WILL change the way you feel! So try this: There are people in your life that need a friend too, that feel exactly the way you do. They may even feel like you don't love them. Reach out to the people in your world.
Click the links below to learn valuable skills in keeping relationships. And then maybe.. probably...when you show others love, you will feel more loved too.
1 John 4:7 ESV
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
Why do we feel worthless? These feelings can hit us without warning or cause. Or sometimes they come at us when we face disappointment. Whatever the reason, it is a very hard feeling and belief to have about ourselves. And no matter who loves us or who tries to reach us, it's nearly impossible for them to breakthrough and change our minds.
This is a terrible way to feel, but you're not alone. We hope the resources below help you find a way out of this hole of worthlessness.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I hate my life
Life. Such a funny word. Only four letters longs. And yet life is so, so complicated! It breaks our hearts that so many go through life hating themselves. Truth is, we've been there! Broken People is a community for those who struggle with a mental illness and those who love them. But it is not just for Broken People, it is lead by Broken People. And we are so glad to be here with you and to share in your journey.
Give this idea some thought: Whose life are you living? Are you living the life you want, are gifted, and capable of? Or are you living a life to pacify others?
Are you living in a way that is not true to who you are?
Is this possible self-hatred a wake-up call to look at maybe who you haven't been?
One thing you can consider: Does how much you love yourself limit how much you are able to love others?
Mark 12:29-31 BSB
This is the most important [commandment], "Hear oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." The second is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself." No other commandment is greater than these.
Jesus the Christ
I want to hurt myself
If you're thinking about hurting yourself, you need to contact a professional. We know, we know. You think your situation isn't that bad. It's somewhat discouraging that certain forms of self-harm have become normalized in society.
It's disturbing that there are so many jokes directed at certain group of people who are thought to be more likely to hurt themselves. Self-harm is no laughing matter.
If you're not able to call a professional, please reach out to a friend that will. We've also included a few important numbers to remember below. Please save these to your phone.
We love you! We don't even know you, but we know your situation. We are rooting for you not just to survive, but to flourish in your life.
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.
From His temple He heard my voice, my cry came before him into His ears.
I'm disgusted with myself
A message from Joe;
I grew up near Detroit, MI with a unique problem. My situation, why I thought I was disgusting, had to do with my weight. And it wasn't easy to talk about because no one I knew dealt with this problem. I was skinny. Freakishly skinny. I would stare into the bathroom mirror, inhale as much as I could, and heap insults at myself because of how ugly I thought I was. I would cry because of the disgusting person I saw every time I looked in the mirror.
It is so easy for us to look at ourselves and only see the parts we hate. There is a good reason for this. When things look different, they stand out and people take notice. And when things stand out, especially for a child or teenager, it leads to some pretty awful experiences.
But what about adults? What is it that disgusts you about YOU? I think the problem is half solved when we identify it, say it out loud, or write about it in our journals.
Take a look at the PDF below to begin to put a plan in place to work on the parts of you that you don't like. You might find out that that part of you that you don't like is really quite awesome and doesn't need to change. Learning to accept what makes us unique is such a hard lesson! But one totally worth learning.
Ephesians 2:10 NIV
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
I wish I could...
There are a lot of reasons we are not able to accomplish all the things we want to do in life. We don't believe that everyone is capable of doing or being anything they want. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. How will you know what your limitations are unless you try? The thing is, we all need to fail to learn how to succeed. And we need to fail to learn to appreciate success. At the same time, those failures give us empathy for others who are experiencing their own trials.
There will always be people who have it better and worse than you in your mind.
Do you know what they teach in self-defense classes when instructing how to punch? They teach students to not stop the punch at the face or body but to punch like you are aiming behind the target. When you aim for something, just like punching someone in the face, sure your goal is to get that thing you're aiming for. But look beyond that goal. Punch further! Don't create limitations for yourself before you've even taken the time to see if it is something you can or cannot do.
One last thing..if you're comparing yourself to others, please stop. This world only has one you and we'd really like to see all that you alone can bring to this Broken World.
1 Corinthians 10:31
"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do,
do all to the glory of God."
Drowning is a terrible feeling. If you don't know how to swim and you are gasping for that one resource you barely have even paid attention to most of your life, it's suffocating.
What is the water that is swallowing you up? Chances are, you've got a host of things that you're committed to that have you gasping for air.
We'd like to recommend a book to you that has been very powerful in the lives of over 20 million people. It is Boundaries by Henry Cloud.
When we get to a place that causes us to feel overwhelmed, there is only one person who can do anything about it. You! And the book linked below is a great start to getting there. If you've read it before, there is a video link to give you a refresher on some of the key concepts.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
I'm a failure
We love this quote from the podcast we've linked below:
"No one makes true changes by beating
the shit out of ourselves."
No one wants to be a failure, and calling yourself a failure isn't doing yourself any good. We challenge you to see yourself in your entirety. In your Brokenness and in your wholeness. We don't want you to be Broken People. We encourage you to pursue wholeness!
It's this group's goal to help you get there. We want to help you reach that place of wholeness!
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
I'm the only one that doesn't have it together
Without a doubt, life is extremely hard. And feeling like you are the only one who isn't able to make it work can be an exhausting and discouraging feeling.
There are always things you can do to change your situation and we are going to share some really great resources below, but we'd also like to share with you this thought. Who DO you know that has it all together? What would happen if you went up and asked them how they got where they are? Those personal connections can really have a huge impact on how we see ourselves. And we think, after having a conversation like that, you might discover you have it more together than you thought.
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, but by testing, you may discern what is the will of God. What is good and acceptable and perfect."
I'm at the end of my rope
What are dealing with in your life right now? Do you feel like your options have dried up? Are you facing problems that seem endless?
The thing about ropes is that they have a beginning and an end. Some people refer to the top of the rope as the end while others refer to the bottom that way. Really, it all depends on which direction you're heading. It is easy to see that going up is much harder than coming down. It requires a lot of strength, goals, and perseverance. Letting go of the rope requires very little. What does giving up look like for you? What comes after the end of that rope?
It's really hard to climb alone. Hanging on and feeling gravity pulling you down is just too much sometimes. Does it ever stop? There is hope! But you must decide to help yourself because no one can do it for you. And you are absolutely worth the personal commitment!
Click the article link below and learn 7 awesome tips to start climbing your way back up your emotional rope.
Also, take a second to listen to the song linked below and get lost in the words.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
I feel useless
What is going on with your day?
Can you give voice to the useless feelings you are having?
We know it's easy to feel this way when a person has been stuck in their bed for days because of crippling social anxiety. This happens to people in every walk of life.
We have a slogan here at Broken People that helps to turn our focus away from all the things you are not doing toward all the things you could be doing. The mantra is
"Forward is Forward."
Whatever you can do to move forward is worthy of consideration. There are times when I (Joe) have hidden under the covers, afraid to face the day. There is a time and place for that. Consider the turtle hiding in its shell when experiencing something potentially threatening. It is a temporary safe place to be until the threat subsides. Even then, even when you find yourself hiding under the covers, you can be focused forward. Just keeping your eyes and heart focused toward forward progress is a tremendous endeavor! You can do it. You are worth it!
Here are a couple of other tools to use!
"I am one of God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved."
They'd be better off without me
Who are THEY? Family? Friends? Co-workers?
Does it ever feel like you're just giving yourself the perfect excuse to hate yourself and be done?
Humans are social creatures. We all need each other to survive. YOU play a roll in this! Think about this for a second: You have a "they." You have people who care about you. People you don't want to burden with your problems. Maybe you feel like you've burned bridges, and that everyone is tired of listening to your struggles. Maybe they all are tired. But those "they" people you have in your life would much rather have you and all your struggles and problems you think burden them than to lose you. Struggles build strength and character. Problems get solved. Imagine writing about your problems in a journal and then coming back to it 10 years from now. I have journals that are 22 years old. The problems you face today won't just be long gone and forgotten by then. No. More than likely, they will have built you into a stronger person. Use the links below to find encouragement, peace, and tools for personal growth.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
I'm not as good as...
We oftentimes compare ourselves to others. We do this all the time, don't we? Money, relationships, personal possessions, positions of power, appearance... we compare all the time?
We live in a society and culture that is always pushing us to be better, to change, to grow. Heck, even our bodies change constantly. We have found great success and emotional freedom when we embrace the success and greatness of others by celebrating and acknowledging their success with praise and congratulations.
Take some time and evaluate some of your accomplishments today. And if you can't think of any, would you consider setting some very simple goals to give yourself something to celebrate at the end of your day?
Galatians 10:10 / ESV
It would take an entire book to list all of the thoughts that can go through someone's mind who struggles with mental illness. The key is to know you are not alone and to always be pushing toward recovery and stability.
There is a saying that every single choice either hurts or helps us. We hope you make more choices to help yourself after visiting our website. Below is a list of links for additional support and information.