Healing the Unhealed
- christabyles
- Mar 12, 2021
- 2 min read
Some say, in order to heal let the past go. I say in order to heal, you have to open up that wound, stare it in the face and allow it to hurt. You don't have to necessarily forgive the person that bestowed the hurt upon you, until you’re ready, unless the person that caused the pain is you. In that instance, forgive yourself urgently. Forgiveness is for you!
One of the hardest things in life for me to do; is allow myself to be vulnerable; opening myself up for others to dissect; so because I have the courage to write this article, I am very proud! The person that I am struggling to forgive is me, Christa Jean Byles Matthews.
Forgiving myself for my past choices, past mistakes and the measure in which , I feel that I have failed myself. Many times, I have allowed myself to be treated less than I deserve, because of self esteem issues, hating the person that GOD has made me to be, inside and out. In many instances; I have sought love from places that should not have been considered, but because I felt empty and needed something to fill me up, so to speak, I went along with things that I should not have. I accepted care and love from a thorn ,when in fact, love should be as soft as cotton and I continue to struggle with that notion, daily.
Evaluate and forgive the person that you once were; if you were in fact, the individual that caused the wound. Ask yourself ,what were the triggers that were involved in this trauma? Why did this trauma occur? Was I looking for a particular outcome? Many times it's easy to blame ourselves for the events in life that we can not control or maybe we could have controlled them. Whatever the case may be, in order to move forward, one must open up about the unfavorable situation . For example: talk about the pain, journal and or pray about it.
Face the trauma; once you realize what caused the pain, never repeat the same patterns and/or walk away from those people that caused you the pain. Do try to change your past toxic self that caused the pain. Be the type of person in life that you want to attract. Remember, we are who we attract . Make sure your positive charge is on daily and live in the now , because later is too far away.
Christa Matthews (still healing)
Love this! I've heard it said that we must forgive ourselves with the same intensity that we forgive others. Somehow many of us have grasped the notion that it is noble to hang on to our hatred for ourselves. I don't see this in the Bible!
I really appreciate that you were/are willing to do something that is so difficult 'open yourself up for others to dissect'. It's really hard for me to do too. I also honestly hadn't thought much about the importance of 'forgiving myself' in relation to my mental health stuff until you brought it up - so thank you for doing that, you've given me a lot to think about!
"Evaluate and forgive the person that you once were; if you were in fact, the individual that caused the wound." This is so hard and so important!!!! We must forgive ourselves and give ourselves grace in order to heal and grow!!!
"Evaluate and forgive that person you once were..." That's me today! Trying to walk in self-forgiveness. Thank you for your vulnerability!